This is my little girl Kelly, I have not seen her for many years due to her decision to cut me out of her life and however right or wrong that decision may be, I respect her decision, in this photo she is in a field adjacent, near a unit I used to rent with my two puppies, at this time in my life I had reached rock bottom and she was the only light at the end of a very long tunnel, I used to love to see her when she was available and both me and her used to spend lot’s of time together.
She was and believe still is a very strong-minded and independent individual even as a child, I hope she has found everything she wants from life and I will be eternally her father and love her unconditionally.
I do know the break up between me and my ex wife had a lot to do with my children’s decisions to stay away from me, at this time I was so messed up I did not know what day of the week it was, I even suffered a severe muscle spasm (I thought was a heart attack) due to the amount of stress I went through, I do know my daughter was independent enough to see me now and then and all I do know I was grateful for those moments.
Not unlike my mother and father I do get depressed and broody at times and not long after this I had to go back home in 1999/2000 to my parents house, my father saw how ill I was at that time and how much weight I had lost due to my living arrangements and food I was eating, so he took me in and this started renewing relationships between me and my father.
I did try to hide my depression at this time from my daughter and I did what all males tend to do (went back into my cave) so all these aspects did not help, for some reason I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and I did not know where it was coming from half the time, I think the combination of events were enough to send me into self destruct mode and this combination I will try to evaluate and understand elsewhere on this site.
For whatever reason I did not see my daughter after this time and started my long journey to recovering myself.
Since then a lot has happened, and will fill this section out more completely later.
I still miss her, I still have all her drawings and gifts she made me as a child but over time I have accepted what can never be.
